The Hype Ball

The incel-ification of dating apps: CEOs want to burn coal so “AI wingmen” can automate flirting

Download Grindr and you might get the clap. But this promised “AI wingman” certainly won’t give you rizz. In this Hype Ball column, we judge the dystopian drag of modern dating. And whatever your sexuality or lack thereof, you’re screwed.

JD Shadel

14 Feb 2025 — 26 min read

I went to Wikimedia.org. I typed "sad clown" into the search box. I hit enter. I found this painting by Max Beckmann with the title "Clown-Acrobat_.jpg."

Welcome to the Hype Ball — where we read the future

You are cordially invited to read ESC KEY .CO’s Hype Ball, a column of analysis and trend reviews where we break down the forces reshaping how we work and live — but with a bulging twist. The big twist is that we approach every topic like it’s a drag competition and we’re the judges. Because, naturally, drag is about subverting traditional power dynamics, exposing artifice and performance and having a fucking ball.

If you're a homophobic grouch who doesn’t like drag, can’t entertain some biting satire and refuses to think for yourself, well, this isn't the party for you. Babe, it's the Hype Ball, after all. We’re making sense of the news and delivering the boss-level insights you can use — but we’re making it camp, darling, OK? Who said smart had to be a snooze fest? I mean, glasses make you look sexier. Fact. Slide ’em on. Read the future.

Now, without further ado, I'm JD Shadel, tech and lifestyle journalist — and, yes, once a guest judge at a real drag pageant, which was clearly my career highlight. I launched ESC KEY .CO to do the kind of deep-dive reporting and analysis I want to see more of in the world. And also to put on one raunchy show. Let’s go, girls.

The scene: the state of dating apps seems broken by design

Before we descend into the circle of “AI agent” hell, let’s start in limbo — the general malaise the millions of dating app users seem to universally complain about. Case in point: When was the last time you talked with a friend over lunch who told you how much they loved using their dating apps? Precisely.

A somewhat pixelated 3D GIF of a blonde child splashing both arms into water in a blue inflatable pool.

Anti-hustle culture but can’t stop hustling? Paul Lafargue would like a word with you

Your TL;DR Briefing on things worth tracking — and talking about over your next power lunch. *Wink.* This time the thing is “The Right to Be Lazy,” a wildly timely 1883 book and the first selection for the new Public Domain Reading Club.

The sculptor works on a larger-than-life monument of the author Paul Lafargue sitting, leaning forward with his right hand extended and his left hand holding a book.

“The Right to Be Lazy” by Paul Lafargue: Read the 1883 polemic that pierces productivity porn

The inaugural selection in the Public Domain Reading Club: Marx's son-in-law's witty pamphlet on the paradox of technological advancement and automation: despite the promises otherwise, it never frees us from work. Presented in the original translation — once deemed too dangerous for U.S. mail.

Tiara Darnell sits at a table with another diner, who laughs. Smiling customers fill tables in the background, along with a drum kit.

How do you walk away from a dream? This ex-Spotify producer, ex-restaurateur finds out (again)

In 2021, Tiara Darnell, a producer at Spotify, relocated to Mexico City. She soon opened its first Black soul food restaurant, the diaspora-connecting and now-closed Blaxicocina. We set the table at this intersection, discussing everything from “overnomadism” to burnout and finding new purpose.

The state of nightlife: No-phone clubs? Brand mascots in the DJ booth? Who can afford to resist?!

The British nightlife trade group recently announced all the clubs could close by 2030 without urgent action. ESC KEY .CO speaks with longtime music journalist and cultural insights agency founder Andy Crysell about his new book, “Selling the Night,” and the big forces reshaping club culture today.